Parenting from the Inside Out

HOW A DEEPER SELF-UNDERSTANDING CAN HELP YOU RAISE CHILDREN WHO THRIVE

By: DANIEL J. SIEGEL, M.D., AND MARY HARTZELL, M.ED.

Book review by @DrHannant & Sandy Shaw Hannant

In Parenting From the Inside Out the authors introduce the concept that “by making sense of your own childhood, we have the opportunity to bring mindfulness to your own experiences with your child.” Therefore, by applying mindfulness in your involvement with your children we can choose your daily interactions.

The authors believe it is significant for parents to be in a position where your own issues don’t get in the way of raising your child.

The term “rapture” (communication breakdown) between parents and children is defined. Suggestions are presented on how to deal with the communication failure.

Skills are given for parents to utilize when situations escalate with their child. Different concepts are outlined so a parent can excel at their task.

The authors view is that parents with unresolved problems can impede their competence in providing a child with joyful associations and secure relationships. When a child‘s security is provided with a reliable, steady, stable and positive environment, children have the foundation for a healthy development.

However, when parents possess unresolved issues from their past, it impedes their ability to listen to their children. Children need to be listened to and to be able to express themselves to their parent.

Parenting From the Inside Out maintains that the way we recall our own life really influences the manner in which we interact with others. All people have negative and positive experiences in life. The method we use to envision and conceive those experiences has a continuing outcome on our thoughts and achievements.

Being able to comprehend out own life and taking time to perceive the emotions connected with our background allows us to become confident individuals that can become a positive association with others.

The book discusses the importance of having a positive reaction at the onset of experiences so we can change them if need be. It states that by determining what is triggering a behavior we can sometimes get over experience.

The book provides examples demonstrating collaborative talk with your child. Example: Don’t ignore your child’s feelings. Try and talk to them about their sensitivities. Express compassion and understanding with your child. Reiterate a situation back to your child in the way you think he/she comprehends and understands it.

The book says not to lie to your child because they can grasp nonverbal gestures. Regardless, how you’re raised, you can raise your own children in a positive approach. The book shows parents who had a difficult childhood how to develop skills to acquire competence in developing successful relationships with their children.

In Parenting From the Inside Out, tool and dialogues are provided on how to enrich a more loving, considerate, and kind association with your child. In the book the authors outline what is going on inside the parent’s brain. Siegel and Hartzell explore new research to aide parents in understanding why they think and reason the way they do.

The book guides parents on how to become quality mothers and fathers. The authors encourage parents to study their own upbringing and to assess how their experiences as a child affected their role as a parent.

This theory is documented by brain research in the book. Stories are recounted and exercises are given in the book which outlines exercises that can be done to exclude words said in anger and strategies are suggested for improvement. Parenting From the Inside Out is informative in explaining what is going on in the parent’s brain that makes them unable to be warm, creative, loving and patient.

The book is instrumental with suggestions what to do about it. The book teaches that when the brain gets stressed it gets fatigued. When this happens the brain is unable to think clearly. The book guides us in explaining the science behind the life events we didn’t like and never took time to resolve.

Scientific and medical viewpoints are examined in each chapter. The book explains how the brain can be involved in the development of relationships with your child and reacting to emotions.

In conclusion, the book explores how the brain works. It explains how our lives are affected by memories, events, worry, trepidation, shame, certainty and emotions. Parenting From the Inside Out teaches how your own childhood experiences pattern how we regard children.